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A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity.
“Where would we be today,” she asked, “if no one had ever been curious?”
One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room.
“In the garden of Eden?”
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. A Bible…..?
2. A silver dollar…..?
3. A bottle of whiskey…..?
4. And a Playboy magazine…..?
‘I’ll just hide behind the door,’ the old preacher said to himself. ‘When he comes home from school today, I’ll see which object he picks up.
If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!
If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.
But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.
And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.’
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table..
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month’s centerfold.
‘Oh Lord have mercy,’ the old preacher disgustedly whispered,
‘He’s gonna run for Congress!’
I created this little graphic myself… for myself.
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. ‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile an! d lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. ‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!’
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting Flies” he responded.
“Oh. Killing any?,” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the phone.”
What big corporate advertiser has not used a hit song for their own purpose?
Could they really take hit Christian songs and do the same….?
An Israeli doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.’
A German doctor says ‘That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.’
A Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.’
An ILLINOIS doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of ILLINOIS, put him in the White House for THREE MONTHS, and now half the WORLD is looking for work.
